Monogamy is always a touchy subject but SET aims to open dialogue, provoke conversation and even some self inspection. Writer DeAndra Alex spoke to Ray Ray Armstrong from the San Francisco 49ers and he was willing to get candid for our “Real Talk Tuesday” about ~ monogamy.
Ray Ray, 25, is currently single but was in a relationship for four years before they decided to end their relationship. “It was bad for both of us. There were a lot of negative things going on,” he said. As I pressed him about those ‘negative things’, he elaborated. “I stepped out a few times,” he says. With such a matter of fact response I asked him, “Why Ray Ray. Why did you do it?”
“It wasn’t anything that she was lacking. That was just how I was. I wasn’t really committed to that relationship full time. I mean I was but I just wanted to continue doing my dirt,” was the response that I got.
Ray Ray admits that he did in-fact love the woman, he was in love with her. So I say again, “Ray Ray, if you loved her why did you do it?” He openly says, “Its not like I wanted to be with anybody else, I mean I wanted to be in the relationship. Those situations with other women were with no strings attached. I mean I just thought that I could do that too.”
As I ponder his answer, my mind cues the lyrics from Jay Z’s Song Cry “You don’t throw away what we had just like that, I was just f*** those girls I was gonna get right back…”
Ray Ray went on, “I feel like its different for men and women. For women its a lot of feelings involved versus a man, our feelings don’t have to be involved. We can just do whatever and move on. I feel like if women do something like that, they would continue to deal with the situation cause it would be feelings involved.”
How real are those answers? Is he right? Is this the way a lot of athletes feel? Not even just athletes but men in general? I wanted to ask him so much more and I appreciated the honesty and valued the opportunity to get a raw perspective from a man who’s comfortable enough to speak on this. So I DID ask him more! We talked more in depth about the levels of cheating, whether or not he’s ever been cheated on, whether he believes that monogamy is possible today and if a woman should stay or leave the relationship once she is cheated on….Tune in next week to “Real Talk Tuesday” for part two!